Face of The Virgin Mary in grilled cheese??? (looks like the Mona Lisa to me!) Or random pattern??

Apophenia is the experience of seeing meaningful patterns or connections in random or meaningless data or sensations. In statistics, apophenia is called a Type I error, seeing patterns where none, in fact, exist.

For illustration let’s consider what is known as the Gambler’s Fallacy.  You are at a roulette wheel and black has come up the last 7 times in a row.  There is a propensity for gamblers to chose red because of the past 7 spins. However, the probability of either a red or black occurring is still 50%.  Each spin of the roulette wheel is independent and past spins have no bearing on future spins. Therefore, the gamblers have made patterns where none exist. (A correlation between past and future spins of the wheel.)

Apophenia is thought to be the cause of superstitions and phenomena such as EVP, numerology, paranormal experiences, and the pseudosciences.

In an article titled Of Jockstraps and Conspiracy Theories the author explains that the brain is a pattern-finding organ and when faced with uncertainty the brain will latch onto any similarity. The article considers the game of baseball. Daytona Beach Islander Jim Ohms puts another penny in the pouch of his jockstrap after each win. Clanging against the hard plastic genital cup, the pennies made a noise as he ran the bases toward the end of a winning season. Glenn Davis would chew the same gum every day during hitting streaks, saving it under his cap. Infielder Julio Gotay always played with a cheese sandwich in his back pocket  Wade Boggs ate chicken before every game during his career. Mike Hargrove, former Cleveland Indian first baseman, had so many time-consuming elements in his batting ritual that he was known as “the human rain delay. ”

It appears that when faced with uncertainty we inevitably start searching for patterns.  The more uncertainty, the more searching for patterns amid a sea of static.

At my own place of work there is no shortage of uncertainty. Child abuse and neglect incidents and reports defy statistical analysis.  There are a number of rituals and superstitions. One of the most prominent is that no one is to mention certain names of ex-clients for fear that we will get another report on them.   If we are low on reports one cannot comment on the fact that numbers are low, because this would cause numbers to spike dramatically. Despite my efforts to offer up explanations why these superstitions are irrational, my co-workers cling to these rituals with a religious conviction.  I secretly mention names of ex-clients and pray for a barrage of reports without effect.

However, people who are more questioning and skeptical by nature are better able to find subtle patterns that do in fact exist.  In several studies, those who described themselves as “skeptical” and scored high on self-esteem scales were able to pick up on actual patterns embedded in otherwise random data such as video and auditory static better than the control group or the group prone to believe in the paranormal.  It appears that a healthy dose of skepticism enables one to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Occam’s Razor ( William Ockham 1285-1349) posits that entities must not be multiplied unnecessarily. The razor refers to the act of shaving away unnecessary assumptions to get to the simplest explanation possible. The simplest explanation is the most likely to be true.  To quote Isaac Newton, “We are to admit no more causes of natural things than such as are both true and sufficient to explain their appearances.”

My point?  Question everything.  Accept nothing at face value. Embrace chaos.

Ed Stafford

I love this kind of news!! Amid all the bickering and moaning and downright depressing news, this is like a breath of fresh air.

Contending with man-eating fish, giant snakes, disease, and Indians who threatened his life, a British man has become the first person to walk the entire length of the world’s longest river, the Amazon.

After 859 days, Ed Stafford arrived at the river’s mouth on the Atlantic Ocean Monday in Maruda, Brazil. Stafford said he intended the more than 4,000-mile trek to be a journey of self endurance, but also hoped the walk would raise awareness about the ongoing destruction of the Amazon rain forest.

“I am simply doing it because no one has done it before.” Stafford started the route with a friend on April 2, 2008. Within three months the friend had quit and Stafford continued on his own, eventually meeting, Gadiel “Cho” Sanchez Rivera, a 31-year-old Peruvian forestry worker with whom he completed the trek.

There have at least been half a dozen previous journeys along the length of Amazon, beginning high in the mountains of Peru, through Columbia and into the thick jungles of Peru. But those expeditions all used boats.

Along the way Stafford confronted flesh-eating piranha, the giant anaconda, disease, food shortages and a run-in with Indians who threatened his life, but ultimately only confiscated his machete.

For more information check out Ed’s Blog at: www.walkingtheamazon.com

Now that Ironman sandbox has become so full, I think we need to up the ante.  Who’s with me?

Demonstration of the Honda Fit's versatility

If this picture wasn’t so gruesome, it would be a great advertisement  for the Honda Fit. The small car has very versatile configurations that allow the owner to haul just about anything. In this case it’s a huge buck.

Ali, a co-worker from DCS ’s husband is a conservation officer and he had promised to get me a deer this season.  I, however, would be responsible for picking it up and getting it to the processors. I  got the call on Sunday and put the seats down in the car. The front passenger seat even goes all the way forward and then folds backwards allowing very long things to be hauled.

I arrived at Darlage Meat Locker to ge the deer processed only to be told they were full for the day and to arrive before 8:00 AM the next morning. I had to pack ice into the cavity of the deer and keep it wrapped up until the next day.

When I showed up the next morning there were all these big pick-up trucks and mullet-y hunting guys waiting with their deer. They were stunned when I pulled the largest deer of the group out of this sub-compact car.  Yes! Absolutely! I just pretended that I shot it.

Oh, my pretty! Don't you look fetching?

Early in my career with the state we received a report that there was a “weirdo uncle” who was in love with a store mannequin and had “relations” with said mannequin in front of two children who lived in the household.  The children also were not enrolled in any school.

While the investigation wasn’t mine, I very quickly glommed onto going to the house just for the curiousity factor. Before we could leave the office a particularly loud-mouthed co-worker threw down the gauntlet. “You guys are p*ssies if you don’t come back with a photo of that mannequin!”  Game on!

“Deirdre” and I pulled in behind the home and a large, shirtless man with sunburnt manboobs that hung down below his navel emerged and confronted us.  We explained who we were and asked if we could step inside to go over the nature of the report.  The man puffed up his chest and exclaimed that he was a preacher.  In doing so, he revealed that he had at most three teeth in his head.  “Deirdre” fired back that we are all the time arresting preachers.  “Oh, for dumb. It’s sad and sick that they use God to cover for their sins.” she said in her thickest Minnesotan accent.

At this point Rev.Billy Bad-Ass pulls out a cellphone and announces that he’s “calling the fuzz on you!” We just looked at each other. All the better. Why should we have all the fun? Plus, it will add verification points to an already interesting story. Within minutes an officer that we were familiar with showed up. He explained that, yes, we had every right to be here and he was required to allow us into the premises.

During this time Mrs. Rev. Billy Bad-Ass had emerged. She was small and her mouth was pinched and her arms were folded across her chest.  I saw Deirdre having to turn her head away to avoid laughing out loud.  The lady looked like a carnie at a Hell’s Angels Circus.

The leather halter top: a favorite of carnies

She was clad in a leather halter top and tight-fitting jeans that were tucked into knee-high boots. Her skin was brown and tough like rhino hide.

Once inside, the couple explained that they were the children’s grandparents and they produced a hand-written document giving them guardianship.  It was, however, notarized and legal.  I asked who else lived in the home and there was an awkward silence.  ” Well,see, there’s Troger, but he ain’t exactly right. He keeps to hisself mostly.” He started to show us the house and once he spyed his steel guitar he insisted on playing a song for the officer.

As he was playing “Amazing Grace” I continued my search for that mannequin. The home was a monument to clutter,as are many of the homes that we encounter.  I heard Rev. Billy Bad-Ass remark about me, ” I hate that guy! He’s bossy and mean!” Undaunted, I entered the front room that belonged to Troger.  Holy Moly! This was an older house with 12 foot ceilings. There was a mound of clothes that reached to the ceiling.  The room was completely filled with “stuff”  and smelled of mold and “man-juice”.   Where to begin looking?  “Dang, Troger! Have pride in your woman!”

We needed to get the kids interviewed. The boy was ten and was heavy-set and mean. The girl was 8 and was filled with questions about Deirdre and I.  It was apparent that she had very little contact with the “outside world” despite the fact that she lived in the middle of town.  The children were home-schooled by the grandparents. [Editorial note: Indiana Home Schooling Laws are a colossal joke. Any parent or guardian can announce that they are home schooling their children and that is pretty much it.]

The kids who should be in second and fourth grades produced for us some biblical coloring assignments that would not challenge a 5 year-old. They stated that they mostly colored or played games as schoolwork.  Legally there was nothing we could do other than suggesting to the guardians that the school work was not age-appropriate and that the children badly needed socialization.

As we were heading back towards our cars, we heard the kids yell, ” There’s Uncle Troger! See!!”

Adult tricycle

Riding across a parking lot was a man with coke-bottle glasses riding one of those three-wheeled bicycles with the large rear baskets.  Once he spyed the police car he turned around quickly and pedaled off at a pace that was impressive for a tricycle.

I pulled the 10 year-old aside quickly and asked, ” Where does Troger keep his girlfriend?” He replied, “ We’re never supposed to talk about that!” And he just hunched his shoulders and raised his hands toward the sky. Somethings are beyond explanation.

While I was convalescing, Flick sent me a link to www.peopleofwalmart.com .  This is some funny stuff!  Readers submit photos they have taken at Wal-Marts all over the country. Here are some random samples.

Oooops! I sharted!

She likes it from behind. I go to another checkout.

OK! It's one way to fix a window.

Booty Call! Aisle 5

These boots are made for shopping...some of these days these boots are goona walk all over you.

The Power of that potato

One of the common expressions around our house is, “The Power of that Potato!”

This is how the expression started.  Susie and I went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming on our Honeymoon.  We scheduled a whitewater raft trip down the Snake River.  On the raft were three couples and our guide Sid.

The raft trip went down some of the most beautiful scenery one can imagine.  The snow-capped Grand Teton Mountains formed a backdrop to the magnificent scenery. We saw a bald eagle catch a fish from the river on the fly.

One of the couples was a husband and wife from Alabama celebrating a 25th anniversary.  The wife started telling a story about how they  had gone of a chuckwagon the night before.   Apparently, there was a trail ride on horseback which ended with a bonfire and home-cooked dinner made by the cowboys.  The wife was fixated on the fact that her potato was rotten. She kept going on and on and on….. about this rotten potato.

Snake River, Wyoming

The rest of us wanted to enjoy the beautiful scenery and the wildlife and not have to listen to this tale of the rotten potato.  Finally, Susie says, “The power of that potato.” The wife looked dumbfounded. Susie explained, ” You have given that rotten potato the power to ruin a beautiful trip like this. That is a powerful potato.” Whatever!  It served to shut this woman up.

Over the years this potato has served as a symbol of how we give trivial events and useless items the power to distract us from the greatness that surrounds us.

Simplybrent and I are the lone males in an office full of women.  Every day we listen  from our position on Stallion Row

Stallion Row: Testosterone Fortress

to our co-workers vent about their husbands and just males in general.  Since simplybrent and I are very successful bloggers, we suggested that they create a blogspace for their rantings.  Blogging is a very cathartic experience.   You find kindred spirits in your situation.

With a little from Simplybrent and I the ladies have their blog created and are proud of their efforts. Check it HERE.

Man Punching Bag

Thinking Cap

This episode of Day in The Life falls under the category of “I sh*t you not!”.  A couple of weeks ago Angie asked Simply and I to go with her out to Clearspring on an investigation with her for safety purposes.

Familiar Pirate Character

The guy in question had the same name as a familiar pirate character and fast-food restaurant.  He had literally thrown his girlfriend and 5 year-old daughter out of the moving truck in the middle of nowhere.

Apparently, when he was booked into jail, the jail staff let it be known loudly what his action had been and he was subsequently treated roughly while in custody by the inmates.

When we arrived at the residence, we found that the guy had a stub arm instead of a peg-leg.  He was also sporting one of the worst mullets I’ve ever seen.  It was a combination of bad 70’s hair parted down the middle and feathered back and the mullet hanging down the back.

Angie was polite when explaining the necessity of DCS having to look into the allegations.  The guy started in with a bad attitude, stating “I got a real problem with this whole thing!”  He puffed his chest and swung his peg-arm wildly.  When his peg-arm reached the apex of its arc, I happened to notice a large jar on the top of the refrigerator.  In it was a large bull penis preserved in formaldehyde.  Penis envy?

Pirate Humor

Of course, he started in with how he was an innocent pawn in this incident ( miscarriage of justice) and how he was mistreated at the hands of the inmates.  He indicated with his one hand and the end of his stub something the size of a cantaloupe  and said, “Now my asshole’s this big!”  Some people just get what they deserve.

This character went onto say that his girlfriend ( who he had pitched from a moving truck assumedly with his one good arm) was not so innocent.  “She may only have her bottom teeth, but she can sure inflict a hell of a bite.”

I had noticed that he had a rifle beside his front door.  It is because of his actions  and interactions with others that necessitate his having a loaded weapon at the ready.  As always, Karma is a bitch!

Ever since Dave Rust of Rose Acres fame passed away in 2004, Jackson County has been without an eccentric of any meaningful quality. Growing up in the area, I can remember well the peculiarities of Dave.

United States 2nd Largest Egg Producer

For those unfamiliar with Dave Rust, he took a small family farm and turned it into the the second largest egg-producer in the United States. Dave had 13 children in all and his first wife Lois now runs the business.

Among many, many eccentric behaviors, Dave would pay his workers to drive eggshell-white vehicles. He would carry a stack of $100.00 bills and give them away randomly or for doing small menial tasks for him such as changing one of his childrens’ diapers. His egg-laying plants always had out-sized American flags flying above them, even though he sued the U.S. Government on more than one occasion.

SIDEBAR: I use the term eccentric in a positive sense.  An eccentric is one who has the self confidence to be original and express themselves in novel and amusing ways.

• I had my own brush with eccentric greatness in 2003 shortly before Dave’s death.  We live not far from Dave’s home.  We had not lived here long and I was out running on the road by Dave’s home.  He pulled up beside me in his van.  I knew exactly who he was, but I pretended not to in hopes of extracting a $100.00 bill from him.  He asked me all sorts of questions.  Why was I running? Who was I? Where did I live?  He gave me an extended history of the property that we live on back several generations, including the lives of some of its inhabitants.  For three miles, he drove beside me as I ran. Then he reached out and shook my hand and drove off. No $100.00 bill.

Jackson County needs a new eccentric! Someone needs to step to the fore and take on this vital role. I ask my blog readers to nominate our new eccentric. Don’t be frightened to post, blog reader. My nomination goes to Jim Noelker. (In the interest of sensitivity, no one who rides a three-wheeled bike around town may be nominated.)

Eric Myers add to Jim's collection of Found Objects. Jim has the second largest collection of Found Objects in the United States.

The Blogger tries on Jim's reading glasses. Jim gave them to me much like Dave Rust and his $100.00 bills.

My friend Deryk hooked me up with a spiffy new scythe.  For the uninitiated, a scythe is the thing the Grim Reaper carries and is used to cut wheat or grains.  

Since we moved out to BFE 8 years ago, I have gone through 4 weedeaters.  We have some tough weeds.  The thick grass around our pond burns the motor out on weedeaters.  

Deryk works for Seymour Manufacturing.  Seymour Manufacturing started in 1872 making spokes for wagon wheels and then moved into scythes and then home and garden tools.  It is one of the only companies in the world still making scythes.

My new scythe has a lightweight aluminum snath ( the handle part) and will cut through tough blackberry brambles like they were butter.  It is easily re-sharpened with a Dremel tool and uses no gasoline.  Thus it is environmentally friendly and makes for some good exercise.  Give one a swing.