Triathlon season is over and as the winter solstice nears, it is time to make some goals for the off-season. I find myself now with some extra time on my hands since I don’t have the 15-18+ hours a week of training for an Ironman.

1.) I’m learning Hindi. India (where Hindi is spoken)  has always been a place I’d like to travel to since I was a kid. I have read that one of the best ways to stay mentally active and fit is to learn foreign languages.  Hindi seemed like the most difficult to learn since the alphabet is so different. I enjoy a challenge. The truth is that it is fairly easy to pick up once you get the hang of the Devanagari Script. I found a great online language community called Live Mocha.  www.livemocha.com

It uses a very similar method as Rosetta Stone with the advantage of matching you up with native speakers of the language.  I as a native English speaker I am matched up with Hindi speakers who are learning English.  I submit written and spoken lessons for feedback and receive lessons from people wanting to learn English. So far it has been very enjoyable. Peebs, Avashi, Sundar9kr, Pradhyumna, Rinku, Ayush and I are having a smashingly good time. As the lessons progress we will go to online chatting in our chosen language.  My kids are getting into learning Hindi and this is a natural time to introduce them to a foreign language.

2.) Get lean and mean.  I went to the personal trainer the other day and got a plan for some strength training.  While training for Ironman Florida I had no time for any strength training.  I’m also hoping to shed 15 pounds of useless flab in the process.

3.) Get the basement fixed up. We have about 1,200 sq. ft. of basement space that could be put to better use. I plan on taking up the carpeting and replacing it with laminate that is more kid-friendly.

4.) Read the stack of books that I have been meaning to read.

5.) Do more swimming. I would absolutely love to find another venue other than the 5:00AM swim at the high school. If not, I’ll make that work.

6.)  Solve the world’s problems.

Pygmy, by Chuck Palahniuk

Chuck Palahniuk is best known as the author of Fight Club, the novel that was made into a blockbuster movie and cult film starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton.  Chuck Palahniuk writing style is minimalistic and his themes are dark and foreboding.

In Fight Club, Palahniuk takes on the Financial Complex ( the tangled matrix of banks, credit card companies, insurance companies, stock market investors whose job it is to f*ck over the “Little Guy”) .  The central character that actor Edward Norton portrays is never given a name because he represents “The Everyman” that is a mindless pawn caught in the “system” and a bitch to “the man”.

The theme in Pygmy is no less funny and disturbing.  The central character is Pygmy, so-called because of his short stature.  Pygmy is one of a group of terrorists from a totalitarian state who have been trained and indoctrinated since age four to hate everything American and seek America’s downfall. The terrorists come to America as a group of thirteen year-old “exchange students”  to Mid-Western homes.

The story is written from the perspective of Pygmy; including butchered use of the English language.  Pygmy has no sense of humor and takes everything at its literal meaning.  This makes for some hilarious stuff.  It really gives an outsiders look at American culture and how outlandish some of our traditions are.  As a 13 year-old middle school student in an American school, Pygmy is forced to take a Swing Choir class and he cannot fathom the absurdity of this mindless waste of time and energy. ( One of the funniest sections of the book).

Author Chuck Palahuniuk

Along the way, Pygmy develops an attachment for the people who he has been trained to destroy.  This is a fantastic novel, but not for the faint of heart (like all of Palahniuk’s works).  The novel reveals some of the hypocrisies of the Christian establishments and nearly everything American is fair game for Palahniuk’s wit.